I'm Sorry
by TheTwoHetalianSams
Summary: Sometimes the comfort of loved ones can't stop the voices in our minds from making us do drastic things.


**Hey, everyone! This is Sam and i had just decided to write this one-shot one day after a really rough week. It's rated as is because of suicide. I'm sorry in advance if you cry, I've already had my friend cry while she read this... but please enjoy! (I am Sammy in the story and her girlfriend Sammy... the author Sammy here who writes with me,.. they play the girlfriend in this story. yea.)**

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My legs are starting to hurt from my arms squeezing them to my chest so tightly. I've lost track of time, only hearing my own breath jerk back and forth. The French teachers words still ringing in my head after last period, making the class laugh at me. The girl in College skills class annoying me almost to the point of violence. And yet all I have now is my lunch bag and my phone by my feet as I lay curled on the floor of the bathroom stall. I feel the tears run down my cheeks and soak into my flannel. The air conditioning breezing in the empty room, and the lifeless sounds of the outside hallway brushing in. You could hear the art teacher talking to his class about oil pastels and texture. I didn't care, I'd be in there right listening to his lecture if I wasn't stuck here. My week has gone terribly and I didn't want to see or talk to anybody. I want to stay in this old bathroom stall till in kicked out or school lets out and I have to walk home in tears. But in the meantime, I stay where I am. My fingernails dig deep into my jeans, and I close my eyes as hard as I can. Feeling my wind pipe tighten, my gasps for air become more demanding and forceful. Everything hurts now and my mind drifts towards depression and overdosage... The thoughts of just ending everything come in or even better, just kill everyone and let me live in a peaceful and happy world. And then the plans start rolling in my mind, but I'm snapped back to the cold-floor reality when my phone vibrates in its pencil pouch. I lift my head up and see the phone buzz again and slip out of the pouch. The screen flashes messages from my girlfriend over and over again. "Where are u? Are you okay? Are you sick? Is everything alright?" My friends start asking as well, but I ignore them all and go back to my disturbing train-wrecked thoughts. A knot forms in my throat and I cough to the point I expect to see blood in my sleeve. But when my eyes creek open, I see a pair of feet waiting out side of the stall door. My pupils shrink and my heart quickens, knowing that those where her shoes and hating myself for not hearing her intrude.

"Sammy? Sammy are you alright? Please let me in." Her feet itch to get in, I hear her hands move to the doors lock and push her hair away. My face turns red and I jerk back down into my knees and hug tightly again. The rustling sounds I hear make me wince and I sense her looking at me from under the stall door. My eye peaks open and I see her kind smile. I forget everything for a moment. For some reason I forgot how great it felt to see that on her face, but I quickly got embarrassed and whipped around; tucking my head back down with a huff. I could hear the faint sound of her sigh and shuffle around, then the sound of my lock opening. My eyes tighten and the anticipation of them giving an unwanted hug grew. I refused to face them as they came up behind me and laid on my back. Her arms slouching over my shoulders and chest raising and falling against my spine. Her face was trying to nudge its self in the crook of my neck. I let her in and she hummed our song; Hey there Delilah by The Plain White T's. The vibrations of her throat soothed my muscles and I let my arms relax a little more. Her arm came up as well as her head, lifting herself up and brushing her lips on my head and planting a small kiss, making me lift my head up. She looked down with the softest smile and kindest eyes. "Why did you lock yourself in here?" She looked at my red-stained eyes and sniffling nose. She already knew the answer, from me already sending her a long rant, almost a suicide note, about my horrible French class. But asking anyway, I just tried putting my head back down but was stopped when her hand came around and was placed under my chin. Her fingers were cold, but the touch felt warm. She leaned in slowly and kissed me, I had never been kissed before so my eyes shot open, but I didn't pull back. She did first and smiled back at me. _What am I supposed to do?!_ But she leaned in again and this time, I joined. It lasted a few more seconds and then I flung my arms around her neck and buried my face in her shoulder. My breaths started shuttering again, but this time my tears soaking into her shirt. She hugged me back, hearing the bell ring again for dismissal, but neither of us moved. The moment seamed long lasting, but she interrupted when she took her arm away from me and stood up, looking back down on my still crying eyes. "Come on, let's get going." She held a hand out and I grabbed it hesitantly. Hoisting me up, we hugged one last time before I picked up my things with shaking hands and walked out of the bathroom. _Who knows how long I would've been in there?_

 **A week later**

The light illuminating from my cell phones screen casts little light in the dark room. The clock is flashing the time of 2am on my bedside stand. I don't care what time it is, I just lay in my bed starring at the screen of my phone, waiting for a response. I had sent a long message to you, having to scroll down three times to read it all. I thanked you for everything, and told you I loved you deeply and nothing could ever change that. I signed off saying nothing was ever your fault and... I'm sorry. But after waiting for ten minutes, I had yet to get a response from you. I didn't really expect one, but was still edged more upset than before. Then I turn my head to my side to see a small stool under a noose that hung from my ceiling fan. It swung at me hauntingly and my eyes grew dull. But I knew what I was doing and I didn't feel anymore pain at last. My arms pushed me from the bed and left the dim phone screen on the duvet. I glided across the trashed room, stepping over old clothes and books, some pills scattered on the floor. I never let you in my room, know you would be so disappointed in me, and I never wanted to see you like that. So I lifted one foot onto the stool and hoisted myself up, my ears rung a high pitched and annoying tone. _I want to be happy again, and even though you always did just that, your parents wouldn't allow us to be together as often as my mental self needed. And so I will let you move on, please don't cry_ ; I whisper to myself as my hands move to put the rope around my thin neck. I guess I'm not fully aware of what I'm doing, do I? _But it's okay, I'll be happy. I'll be alright, please don't worry_. My feet slip off the chair and the rope quickly tightens itself around me and I am left without air, and no pain. _I'll be okay, you be good... Keep being just the way you are... You are so beautiful.. And I'm.. I'm sorry_.

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 **So that's it! :'D I hope everyone liked it, please review! -Sam**


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